Two Christmas’s past, I thought I wanted a Keurig Coffee machine. They were terribly expensive, and so Santa was not to bring me one… This year, I was not so interested in them, as I have now met the man Todd of Dangerous Grounds, and would not ever want to spoil the true taste and flavor of the particular brew of the morning. I wonder how kids will ever realize that all they really have to do is boil some water, add the grounds, then strain them. There is no need of fancy machines, with special little cups of… well…. whatever… is no matter now….
It has been a new month for me, this May of 2013, and it has brought me new life. As I have had to face the hand of my own making, I am compelled to sit at my desk and make out lists, to be organized and to be sure. I am not haphazard, nor careless in my steps. I have great purpose and vision. My dreams are far and apart from the reality of now. And so I must proceed with caution into the future, and each decision, each choice defines it.
In terms of comparison, I am quite sure that the amount of funds I have to deal with in America, is truly paultry and sad. Most people could not even begin to imagine how I survive. And even as I make out my budget for next month, I am now both shocked and filled with some dread, at the prospect I see before me. As I read and research, explore about and take in all the new information, insights and truth, I have added more than a few books to my amazon cart… I do not have a Kindle, nor will I ever, I am sure… I must own the book, have it in my hand, so that I may write in the margins, make little signs and arrows… to mark my trail…
So as I look at this “budget” the word “over-drawn” is like a loud train coming at me in a tunnel… I see it coming very clearly! haha So in order to manage that problem, I must make some hard choices. It could be that the Hughes Net ISP will have to wait… how will I survive without the music… how will I survive without my friends… but surely it is no choice if it means I would not have the books… I must have the books… a curse I inherited from my mother, no doubt… her bed was always filled with them. Her passion was mysteries, mine is knowledge.
As amusing as it is, food is not even on my list as yet. Besides the internet connection, there will be much more I have to cut. I have property taxes that are over-due, and utilities as well, that must be transferred over into my name with the deposits that must be paid as well. Water comes first, as I even contemplate what giving up the electricity would mean… How hard would it be really. I can make a fire. We have no shortage of wood certainly. Give up the addiction to the laptop for a few months, and perhaps I could re-group this financial crisis. How could I not write? Is time to get out the notebooks and pens once again… time to embrace the old ways… for I cannot live without the books. I cannot.
Funny how when faced with choices, we always turn to the easiest way, almost instinctually. The coffee machine where you just pop in the little cup and voila’ – perfect coffee with all the “creme” and “sugar” already added for you. You have only to drink it. Funny how when forced to make a choice between electricity and reading, there is no choice really… I have a never ending supply of books, like old friends, that always impart something new to learn, no matter how many times I have read them… They call it living off the grid now. It is summer and the water is warm naturally. The daylight is plenty for my needs. My cat Spooky does not entertain these worries. It matters not to him if we have electricity or not. He is only concerned for his crunchies and the peace that we enjoy. He hunts little bugs and butterflies, and sits and makes silent insults to the squirrels as they munch away at sunflower seeds I have offered. Yes, Spooky and I live in the same world, yet in so many ways, it is far different in perceptions.
A new friend that is coming to the farm just told me in conversation that people should not worry over having enough food, and other trivialities, as God will always provide whatever we need. And I am paused to wonder on this… I suppose as the final days of May pass into June, we shall see. We shall surely see.