To Be A Grower!

Good morning! Just a body made of flesh and bone, and one more prone to bare feet in the grass, this day comes after a long and freezing night. The last mean days of March are upon us, the weary remaining Kind Ones down in Tejas…

Looking North

There is an interesting saying… “Knowledge is power.” I tend to disagree. Some knowledge could be useful in the right context for the right person. But hoarding knowledge to the detriment of many others, is not power, it is corruption. Perhaps the word “power” should be seen as a many layered concept. My own personal power lies not in control of anything, because spiritual practice has taught me that there is no control, ever. Detachment is a liberating attitude. I find that in this neutral observance, a strong connection to that which might be termed as my own personal refuge, or power is knowing.

To send your own boys to war, generation after generation, to fight and die for what? Excuse me? Yes, I enjoy a great amount of physical freedom, freedom of choice to a large degree, but protection? Nope. If some young men died to give me these freedoms, then something is wrong in Denmark, my friends. The war machine rages on, and we’ve been feeding it far too long.

There can be solutions of peace. There is still great abundance and cooperation can bring that all to life. To erase the damage done is another thing entirely. Complacent people, yes, but truly exhausted people have been caught unaware. There is no winning another war. Not a civil war, nor a global conflict. Anything coming even close will be the final stages of our complacency. As my contribution, I write, and I grow. Neither one is easy. But both are incredibly rewarding. Embrace the discipline! Do whatever it takes. Do what your own soul tells you to do! Put the television in the closet and cancel your satellite bill. Between learning organic growing, radio communications and basic carpentry (stick building), I stay pretty busy. Looking around, the efforts have not been wasted. Time passes whether we participate or not. When we do, with renewed intent, the resulting outcome is tangible achievement. That is where you find your rewards… in your achievements. I put to you here and now, it is your responsibility, and indeed a large part of your stewardship, to share what you have and what you know. It is our goodness and bravery that will surely save us.

We have a young man coming here to the farm in April. He is from West Texas and has family in Arkansas. He can see we have very little in terms of the trappings of the rich. What we do have is great potential to live a good life in peace, regardless of the chaos around us. And he sees that. I am offering to him all that I have. He found me. So we will see where this goes. Personally, my goal and greatest motivation is to someday be fully confident to call myself a Grower. My new friend is going to help me.

So Good Morning, my lovely friends! The ice too will melt, and the delicate blades of grass will emerge. Buds will show on the ends of the bare limbs, and we continue to fight the good fight. What do I believe in? I believe in the Sun, I believe in children, and I believe in the inherent goodness of all people. I send you all love!

Erynne

Of Heretherebespiders fame…

I Need

I need to howl. Like a lonely dog. Like a wolf looking for her pack.

I’m sitting outside, it is cold, it is breezy. Some of my fingers have turned white, bloodless, from the lack of circulation.

I don’t want to go inside.

I tilt my head to the sky. The black, moonless sky. There are only two stars strong enough, bright enough, to shimmer in the black.

Head back, looking up, throat exposed stretched grasping I feel the need to howl. To howl loud and long. Howl for the pain and the frustration.

I can not. I have neighbours who would not understand, would not appreciate my song of loss.

I bottle it in, again, still, until.

A few nights ago, sitting alone under a deep black sky full of bright stars, I felt a connectedness with someone, it was in my throat and my upper chest. I did not know who, or what, I might have thought I felt, or why, but I had one of those simple moments when the obvious stands out, and you go, “oh, that’s what it is…”

We are part and parcel of a great and ancient consciousness. And inherent inside each and every one of us, is the need to know. I firmly believe that it is a driving force of human nature, something that can never be denied. I have much gratitude to be alive and able to experience the unending source of information right here at my fingertips anytime I seek answers. But the magic really happens when something alive and raw, real and compelling, emerges naturally through this same usually flat and one-dimensional screen.

I do not know why the lovely and highly interesting Erynne in Ireland was so sad that night. But in her honest and very beautiful prose, there was an unexpected connectedness I immediately recognized. I have felt that very same way, more than once, I am sure. I felt her loss, I felt her pain. I felt like running to the top of the old drive-way on the backroad where a true portal exists above the railroad tracks, and raise my voice into the darkness, into the clouds with her.

Well, maybe I’ve been around animals far more than humans, or maybe when things get really tough, we all want to go back to our place, our real beginnings… or maybe our cries are joined in a chorus of angels that want nothing more than to lift us up from this sometimes dreadful place… I cannot say, but I was so struck by reading Erynne’s sweet song, of distress and despair, that in that knowing, that sharing, I found understanding, and strongly felt this connection.

It is not natural to hold in grief, nor is it a good idea for too long. We must let it in, and accept it. It does get better, never cured, but usually the need to know is met with some acceptance and understanding. Or maybe we never understand everything. But I find much solace just knowing that we all have these moments. We are all connected, everyone, and the journey can be long and hard. But even so, I am really really glad to have this chance, to know.